Dear future me,

Dear future me,

I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re happy, fulfilled, and proud of the life you’ve built.

Lately, things have felt increasingly overwhelming. I’m trying to do everything at once: working in the lab, building the Endocrine Atlas website, writing this blog, volunteering, searching for shadowing opportunities, learning how to drive, studying for the MCAT, and somehow balancing everything else life throws my way. Some days, it feels like there simply aren’t enough hours.

I’m trying to become the person I aspire to be—reliable, knowledgeable, compassionate, and someone others can depend on. I’m not there yet, and this week reminded me of that.

My offer to serve as Event Coordinator for Black Students in Medicine was revoked. It hurt more than I expected. Not because of the title itself, but because I never wanted to be someone who lost an opportunity because they weren’t reliable enough. I felt rejected, embarrassed, and disappointed in myself.

Still, I don’t want this moment to define me. I want it to shape me.

I’m going to fix my schedule and create systems that help me keep my commitments. I’ll write everything down so important tasks don’t quietly slip away. I never want to neglect something I’ve committed to again, especially when other people are counting on me.

It’s always difficult for me to write honestly about my shortcomings because I want people to see the best parts of me. But that wouldn’t be honest. I’m human, and I think it’s important to show that. I don’t want to create the illusion that I’m always confident or always succeeding.

The truth is, I sometimes feel like a failure. Sometimes I feel like a disappointment. I know I work hard, but there are days when I wonder if my work—and even I—are enough. Maybe that’s the nature of pursuing a competitive career. Maybe everyone secretly feels like an imposter from time to time.

But I also know another truth.

I do belong here.

I’ve worked harder than I ever thought I could. Every day, I give everything I have to becoming the person I want to be. That effort doesn’t make me perfect, but it does give me something solid to stand on. It reminds me that my place here wasn’t handed to me—I earned it, and I’ll continue earning it every day.

Future me, I hope you’ve become the person I’m working so hard to become. I hope you’ve learned to be kinder to yourself than I am today. Every late night, every setback, every difficult lesson—I’m enduring them because I believe they’ll help build your future.

I don’t know exactly where you’ll be when you read this, but I hope you look back at this version of me with compassion rather than pity. I’m trying my best.

And I believe that, eventually, it will all work out the way it’s meant to.

Rotting for ya,

Edi 🙂